whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
