I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
