I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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