By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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