Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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