I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
