do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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