Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
