why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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