no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
