I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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