He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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