We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
