Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
