Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
