Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
