Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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