Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize