My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
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You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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