so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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