We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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