Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
