i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
