Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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