I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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