Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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