I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
