He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
