All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
you never un-have a 4some
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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