You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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