no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Dicks are not precious.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
