is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.