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Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
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