Yo dont text me then not text me
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just had sex on a roof
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
