oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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