So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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