Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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