you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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