I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
