She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
