Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize