Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
