your thong is hanging out like whoa
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize