Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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