question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
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I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
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he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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