She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize