doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
