i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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