new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
