you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize