he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
