So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.