I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important