Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  at least we're not in new jersey

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  (612): i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale (401): at least we're not in new jersey http://tfl.nu/f78q
  Replies (59) Good night (888) Bad night (1747)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy

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  (973): pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy http://tfl.nu/hiwh
  Replies (10) Good night (1364) Bad night (2990)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.

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  (503): My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night. http://tfl.nu/xdrw
  Replies (19) Good night (678) Bad night (4543)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.

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  (203): after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet. (1-203): your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd. http://tfl.nu/5pti
  Replies (12) Good night (4853) Bad night (1826)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.

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  (360): And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that. http://tfl.nu/r3iu
  Replies (6) Good night (2789) Bad night (926)
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  (818): View more from California

  You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.

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  (818): You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato. http://tfl.nu/nu5y
  Replies (4) Good night (1353) Bad night (1194)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on

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  (540): i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on http://tfl.nu/ddt2
  Replies (1) Good night (1323) Bad night (648)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.

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  (937): She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend. http://tfl.nu/pjkv
  Replies (11) Good night (2300) Bad night (623)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN

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  (715): just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN http://tfl.nu/9tva
  Replies (24) Good night (2131) Bad night (559)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.

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  (860): So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled. http://tfl.nu/ouz2
  Replies (6) Good night (1945) Bad night (479)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.

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  (540): There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day. http://tfl.nu/ga2m
  Replies (5) Good night (1010) Bad night (474)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter

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  (804): it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter http://tfl.nu/864b
  Replies (5) Good night (1211) Bad night (563)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door

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  (775): He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door http://tfl.nu/vv4w
  Replies (13) Good night (620) Bad night (1895)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me

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  (218): Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me http://tfl.nu/p7wy
  Replies (2) Good night (908) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol

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  (408): I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol http://tfl.nu/bjh1
  Replies (3) Good night (513) Bad night (161)

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