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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.

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  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (323): View more from California

  I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.

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• (949): View more from California

  You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.

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• (949): View more from California

  honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator

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