dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?