i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO