I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We need a shit load of segways right now
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...