we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
