I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
