oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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