we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
