I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
