Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Drunk is not a location!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
