i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
