my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
